Istj relationships and dating

Must-Know Guidelines for ISTJ Relationships
Contents:
  1. More From Thought Catalog
  2. Understanding ISTJs in Relationships and How The ISTJ Gets Along With Other Types | Truity
  3. ISTJ Weaknesses

ISTJs are generally willing and able to do anything which they have defined as a goal. So, if maintaining a good relationship is important to the ISTJ, they are likely to have a good relationship.

More From Thought Catalog

If they have not added this goal to their internal "list" of duties, they are likely to approach the relationship in their "natural" state, which is extremely practical, traditional, and structured. Sexually, the ISTJ is likely to approach intimacy from a physical perspective, rather than as a means of expressing love and affection.

They usually have a problem expressing their deepest feelings, even though they may be very strongly felt. They will expect sex on a relatively scheduled basis, and are likely to honor traditions regarding gender role-playing.

Male ISTJs will assert their perspective on their partners, while female ISTJs will tend to follow along with what their male counterparts want although they will be uncomfortable with anything extremely out of the traditional norm. ISTJs do not feel threatened by constructive criticism or conflict situations. When faced with criticism, the ISTJ is likely to believe that their point of view is correct.

They have a tremendous amount of respect for Facts, and base their opinions on known facts and logic.


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Consequently, they have a hard time seeing the viability of viewpoints which don't match their own. When the ISTJ gets involved in a disagreement over a point, they usually begin to attempt to recruit the other person over to their own point of view, fully believing that they are right, and that the other individual simply needs to understand the facts of the situation. In such situations, the ISTJ may or may not be right, but their confidence in their own "rightness" can shake the confidence of others involved.

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This habit can quickly turn conversations into "win-lose" situations, and can present a special problem in intimate relationships. While they may inadvertantly shake the confidence of their colleagues with their "I'm right" approach, the same behavior may cause serious issues within their intimate relationships. The ISTJ's constant assertion of "rightness" may send a message to their mates that they do not value their opinions.

If the ISTJ has a mate with a strong Feeling preference, they may inadvertantly wreak havoc with their self-esteem, since Feeling individuals are extremely sensitive to conflict and criticism, and are especially vulnerable in their intimate relationships. Since ISTJs make decisions using the Thinking function rather than Feeling , they are not naturally likely to consider their mates feelings and emotions in daily living. This may be a problem if their mates have the Feeling preference, since Feeling individuals usually expect a lot of positive affirmation, which the ISTJ does not naturally communicate to them.

ISTJs are generally very capable and efficient at most things which they endeavor. Consequently, their mates are likely to hold a good amount of respect for them.

Understanding ISTJs in Relationships and How The ISTJ Gets Along With Other Types | Truity

Daily concerns are likely to be well-provided for by the ISTJ. If other concerns, such as emotional needs, are pointed out to the ISTJ as important issues for their mates, the ISTJ will rise to the occasion and add the task of addressing these needs to the internal "list" of duties. Since the ISTJ is so willing to work hard at issues, and so tireless at performing tasks which they feel should be done, the ISTJ generally makes a wonderful, caring mate who is willing and able to promote a healthy, lasting relationship which is also a partnership.

How did we arrive at this? Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. Such is the greatest goal of an ISTJ parent toward their child. Along the path towards this goal, the ISTJ expects that their children honor their traditional familial roles. As parents, they demand respect and authority from their children.


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They willingly accept their parental role of provider and guardian. Once the ISTJ becomes a parent, it becomes a "given" that they will perform all of the duties associated with parenthood, and they will do so without grudge or burden.


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  4. I also attempt to learn more about their interests so I can hold conversation with them. I am not big on obvious romantic hints, as I avoid putting myself out there without them making the first move. If they are interested back, then we can build something out of that. Straight to the point! I am able to spend quite a lot of time with someone if I like them, which is strange because I usually prefer to spend time alone.

    I will also be especially helpful, more flirtatious than usual and I may dress up a little more and try to keep myself in close proximity to them. From that point, I may initiate getting together if I suspect they like me as well. I usually will not make the first move unless I am very confident that the feeling is mutual.

    I am fairly traditional in that sense.

    ISTJ Weaknesses

    So if I am interested in someone, I will show it by spending more time around them and making them a priority. From that point, I would hope that they would take the initiative if they were interested in me as well.

    ISTJ Relationships - As Partners, Parents, Communication Style and Match

    When I like someone I am very open to going out to get food or drinks with them, whereas normally I structure my time in a very specific way and am less open to regular social events.